Name Names

ALIAS

I am fond of giving other people names as much as I am fond when people give me special name. Of course, I am greatly, overly and undoubtedly satisfied with my beautiful name (see link for a related post  'http://rohyatarucan.blogspot.com/2009/09/reposting-my-name-is.html') but it makes me feel closer to a person when we have this so-called terms of endearment (not at all times for romantic reasons). This just levels up the relationship when we have  pet names or shall I say aliases.

This realm started when  I was in the excitement about the GLORY of the BYLINE during my journalism days in high school. I was a part of the school paper back, the copyreader in my junior year and the editor-in-chief in my senior year. Honestly, I was not the best writer then. It was hard for me to lead somehow but I made it and that was something I'm proud of. That was when I learned about having a pen name. My pen name was Hannah Cinco. Why? Because it is a palindrome (hannah), it gives me a little more of literature and I just love the name. Cinco is my mother's maiden name. and that's how it started.
High school years, oh my high years, every memory is fun (kay saya). (laughs). It is the time where one should identify oneself and belong to a group (some to mention are the socialites, nice guys, the neirds, the weirds, the mvp's, the shy's, the rebels and the one of everything group). I belong to the last one, the diversified group and we had barkada tawagan too. There was 'star', 'babe', 'sweetheart', 'sweetipie', 'darling' and I was 'honey'. We'll maybe because I had a boyfriend I called honey (mr vash the stampede) because I was hannah.  Also, I had an admirer who fondly called me 'magnetic eyes' (laughs) while he asked me to addressed him my 'sweet lion'. Whatever! Memories!
Life's constant thing is change. Some people come and some go. In my college years, well not in he first year yet but later, amazingly I was able to continue that realm. We were few in our course (as said to be a tough one - Applied Physics it was and indeed) so we were really bonded. I have endearment terms for almost all of them. I have 'Brad', 'Babe', 'Ga', 'D', 'Gam', 'Dai or Hon', 'Freeze', 'Rain', 'Judy Abott', 'Krung2' and 'Bes'. The next relationship I entered we call each other 'ate' and 'kuya'. I've been an 'Angel' to someone.
Surely, this give me distinction to each and every person important to me. To my mother I am her 'only hope' while I call her my 'wind beneath my wings'. And like some of my nephews and nieces call me 'yaya', 'antie', 'hantie', 'ma ante'and I am always 'ging-ging' to my family, relatives and close elementary friends. I am 'Roi' in the office or with some of my housemates now. In addidtion, I am 'R' to my 'Dee' housemate while I'm 'Roying' to my 'Aning'. (laughs - typhoons!!!). Somebody even calls me 'engineer' even though I'm not, another name is 'Ms. Fire' (like a beauty title huh).

I am 'dubz' while I call him 'lubz'. He said it was because of the sound of the heartbeat. lubdub. and we were one heartbeat. I am dubzy, he is lubzy. I am mommy, he is daddy. (moments of love)
Now, I proudly present my new pen name (not a pen anymore but a keyboard so is it a keyboard name?), okay, my blogger name. It is ROseHYAcinth in the house because over and above all these sorta names, pen or pet names, endearment or not. Above all the many aliases, within is rohya. no more. no less.
All of these comprise me being R-O-H-Y-A. Again, I am ME.

hALf bRaiN deAD

I thought I never would have the courage to let you go. I was afraid and I am still afraid of losing you. Yet now, I did it. I'd let you go, set you free. I know I hurt you much but it hurts me too. I know part of this decision is the fear of losing you forever and it breaks my heart to think of it over and over again but my half dead heart and half dead brain are telling me we need to have this and this is the only way to save everything.


I know you don't understand me much now. I know you're thinking I'm unfair because I'm being strong. I know you should be angry at me for not considering the sacrifices you have made. But believe me, everything that you do, all the sacrifices, the wait and everything were just among the many things I thought of in making this decision. And I have appreciate every little thing you did. Everything and THANK YOU.


I don't know how to explain everything. Honestly, I just can't find the appropriate words to tell you to lessen whatever pain i'm causing you. I'M SORRY. It's been quite some time now since i've been thinking about us. The conditions of our heart and turn of events on our situation. I'm still praying for the right words to tell you or explain to you why I am doing this in a way that you'd understand why'd I've done it. I'm looking forward to show you or prove to you, I am right in doing this cause this will make us better.


I really believe that we can conquer this distance, the differences we have because I know we both are faithful to  each other. I trust that our feelings for each other is deeper than love. I've said it before and I'll say it again I had a  vision of you and me together growing old but the indifferences and coldness we have caused by the gap this long distance relationship has brought are making that vision vague. We need to help each other. This is my way of saving what we have and hopefully someday, soon you'll realize that I'm just doing this because I LOVE YOU.


I'm still waiting for the part where boy meets girl, when you meet me halfway, when I meet you halfway...when we grow together and together become better creations of God filled with love and understanding and an unceasing friendship.

Stay on Track: a love letter

It seem so shallow but I'm happy that after 3 years, I've learned something new about you today. I never thought we had that same passion and dreams in photography. That was a surprise. I didn't think you'd remember that I hate teaching. I didn't know you love teaching that much no matter how you try to hate it. I didn't know that you gave importance to your students as well no matter how silly they are. I'd never thought you'd comment how ugly my penmanship is and you really insisted it's ugly (I know).  I never thought you'd share how you laugh at your students wrong grammar (prettied, strangy etc) and that made me laugh too. I didn't expect you could stay up late again talking with me on the phone and I'd missed that. I never even thought that you'd somehow share  your current financial status and how much you hate taxes deduction. I hate it too.


I'd never thought I'd know you more and I want to know you better.


Di,

It feels good to talk to you with no arguments at all. That has been an amazing one hour we've ever had. It feels great to feel like this after the call ended. That wasn't the usual where I end up crying after our talks before. That was just different and I like that.


This could be a start of something new, of something good. We could start over again.We could make this through, me and you. Just keep doing what you are doing now. One more try for the sake of our love.


Let's keep the momentum. I won't lose my grip. Just stay on track. We'll gonna make this through. We can.

love lots,
Mi