Wednesday, August 25, 2010

hALf bRaiN deAD

I thought I never would have the courage to let you go. I was afraid and I am still afraid of losing you. Yet now, I did it. I'd let you go, set you free. I know I hurt you much but it hurts me too. I know part of this decision is the fear of losing you forever and it breaks my heart to think of it over and over again but my half dead heart and half dead brain are telling me we need to have this and this is the only way to save everything.

I know you don't understand me much now. I know you're thinking I'm unfair because I'm being strong. I know you should be angry at me for not considering the sacrifices you have made. But believe me, everything that you do, all the sacrifices, the wait and everything were just among the many things I thought of in making this decision. And I have appreciate every little thing you did. Everything and THANK YOU.

I don't know how to explain everything. Honestly, I just can't find the appropriate words to tell you to lessen whatever pain i'm causing you. I'M SORRY. It's been quite some time now since i've been thinking about us. The conditions of our heart and turn of events on our situation. I'm still praying for the right words to tell you or explain to you why I am doing this in a way that you'd understand why'd I've done it. I'm looking forward to show you or prove to you, I am right in doing this cause this will make us better.

I really believe that we can conquer this distance, the differences we have because I know we both are faithful to  each other. I trust that our feelings for each other is deeper than love. I've said it before and I'll say it again I had a  vision of you and me together growing old but the indifferences and coldness we have caused by the gap this long distance relationship has brought are making that vision vague. We need to help each other. This is my way of saving what we have and hopefully someday, soon you'll realize that I'm just doing this because I LOVE YOU.

I'm still waiting for the part where boy meets girl, when you meet me halfway, when I meet you halfway...when we grow together and together become better creations of God filled with love and understanding and an unceasing friendship.